Packing for a swinger weekend away.

The first time we packed for a lifestyle weekend, we brought three bags and used one. Here is what we actually reach for now.

Comfortable clothes you feel good in for the mingle, something easy to slip into (and out of) for later, a robe, and toiletries you will not have to borrow. Pack condoms and lube you trust rather than relying on what is in a bowl by the door. Bring snacks and water — events run late, and nobody negotiates well when they are hungry.

And bring your boundaries with you — written down, if that helps. Not every event is for you, and not every couple is either, and that is fine. A weekend away is a wonderful time to rediscover each other and remember why you started. Pack for that.